not enlightened yet
just a little more effort
About
My name is Suryacitta, and I am not enlightened — and never will be.For more than twenty-five years I searched for awakening, enlightenment, self-realisation, Buddhahood — every name the mind could give to freedom. The first fifteen years unfolded within Buddhism; the following decade wandered through the world of non-duality: books, videos, teachings, practices, endless searching.Again and again I heard the same message: it’s simple. Yet it never seemed truly clear. If it’s so simple, why does it remain hidden behind so many words?What I failed to notice for years was that I was trying to understand it through thought. Even when teachers said, “This is not an experience,” I translated that into another idea to grasp.Then something quietly obvious revealed itself.Enlightenment, awakening, freedom — these are words. Useful perhaps, poetic perhaps, but still words. Without language, without thought, what exactly was I searching for?This became clear through the direct and refreshingly simple communication of Emerson a speaker of non-duality. The search did not end in fireworks or cosmic ecstasy. It faded gradually, almost unnoticed.I had spent years waiting for some extraordinary experience — a final arrival, a dramatic shift, something unmistakably spiritual. But what revealed itself was utterly ordinary and quietly profound at the same time. Nothing special. Nothing mystical. Just something so obvious it had been overlooked completely.Not found in thought.Try This: Don't think about it. Go to the experience the question takes you to.
Q, What's not a thought?
Seeking is the Problem
All words are made—fabricated sounds and symbols we agree to treat as meaningful. They point, label, describe, but they are never the thing itself. Even the words “reality," "non duality" are just constructs a sign trying to capture what
cannot be contained.We live as if words are solid, as if they hold truth, yet they only circle around what is already here. What you’re looking for isn’t in the language about it. Freedom, or realisation, isn’t found in better descriptions or more refined ideas—it is
noticed in the gaps.Before a thought appears, after it fades, and quietly in between words, there is something unspoken and unchanged. That is not captured by language, only overlooked by it.Try this: Don't think about it. Go to the experience the question takes you to.
Q, Without language what are you seeking?
One To one Sessions
Private 1:1 sessions are available over Zoom. Sessions are confidential and will only ever be shared publicly on YouTube if both people fully agree.These meetings are not traditional spiritual Q&As or discussions about philosophy. They are an invitation to look directly at what is already here — the most obvious thing in the world, though strangely overlooked.The purpose is not to give you more concepts, beliefs, or spiritual ideas to collect. In many ways, it is the opposite. Together we explore what remains when the endless commentary of the mind begins to quieten.Much of spiritual seeking becomes another form of thinking — another attempt to reach something through words, understanding, or future attainment. Yet beneath all thoughts, definitions, stories, and experiences, there is something unmistakably present that does not need to be created, improved, or imagined.It is already here before the next thought appears.These sessions are a space to step out of the search for a moment and notice the simple, ordinary presence that has never actually been absent.Nothing mystical needs to happen.
Nothing new needs to be attained.
Only a clear seeing of what has been overlooked because it is so close, so immediate, and so ordinary.Try this:
Don’t think about the question. Go to where the question points before thought answers.What is here before a thought appears?
Non Duality
The Ordinary Miracle
Before thought rises, something is already awake. Not a something that can be held or named — but the bare fact of awareness itself, prior to every story we tell about it.This is what the traditions gesture toward when they speak of non-duality: not a mystical attainment to be won through effort, but an ever-present reality that was never absent.The seeker and the sought turn out to be a single movement. Seeking stops not because it succeeds, but because it sees through
its own premise.Ordinary mind, the Zen teachers say — this is the way. Not the mind scrubbed clean of thought, but awareness recognising itself in the midst of everything: traffic noise, a cup of tea, the ache in the lower back.Presence doesn't wait for conditions to improve.
What makes this hard is not its distance but its intimacy. We look past what is nearest. Awareness is not an object within experience — it is the open space in which all experience arises, lingers, and dissolves.
Nothing need be added. Nothing need be removed. The ever-present reality isn't behind experience. It is experience, seen without the overlay of seeking. Simply this. Already here.Try this: Don't think about it. Go to the experience the
question takes you to.
Q, What's between the observer and the observed?